Dear Lance
by Saigecraze003
Summary: *Warning, extreme Klangst* Keith writes Lance a series of letters over the time they spent together. Lance reads them after a heart shattering event, then he writes a letter back. *Oneshot*


Dear Lance ~ Klangst Oneshot

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry for treating you so bad all this time, I don't hate you, I never did,

How could I? All this time I didn't see it, you were always there and you always

cared. Now we have this rivalry and I wish it could be different. I wish we could

be friends, I want to start over with you, I want to pretend this rivalry didn't

exist, I guess it's fine if you don't want to be my friend or you really do hate

me, but the rivalry is one sided. I just want to get to know you better.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry we never talked about this earlier, but it's nice to see we are getting

along now. I'm really trying my best to make this last, hopefully we can move past

our differences and continue to grow as friends. It's helped the team out too, Shiro

hasn't had to yell at us in a while haha, he may have a tough exterior, but secretly

he's just protective of me, it's what brothers do. But he's talked to me and is happy

we aren't fighting anymore, but he's nowhere as happy as I am. Thank you.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry for keeping myself hidden all this time, who knew we'd have so much in common?

We continue to get closer everyday, I don't think you could ever know how much that means

to me. Maybe I'm being dramatic, or maybe there is something else I've yet to tell you,

my feelings for you have evolved. I thought of it as a need for platonic attachment,

but I believe I was wrong. Maybe, all this time, I've been avoiding what I want and

didn't even realize it. Maybe, I want us to be closer, closer than friends. Maybe

I like you, and maybe even, I want to be yours.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry I'm always so stupidly oblivious to everything. How ironic you also wanted to

be closer to me. That rivalry had no sides to it. How even funnier, today I told you I

liked you, and you said it back. In a moment of compassion, we poured our hearts out to

each other. There was laughter and tears, raw emotion and words forgotten being spilled

out into the space sitting between our shaking bodies, nothong but honesty in them, each

word with it's own importance. I'm unaware of where we stand at this stage, but we're

learning things about each other everyday, and I'm happy even at this slow stage.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry I made the first move, even though you had wanted to which you later told me,

but I just couldn't help myself. You looked beautiful with the dirt and sweat covering

your face, with disheveled hair and a scrath on your face. The battle was intense, but

we won, and all I could see was the perfect person you were, even in that state. so I

kissed those perfect lips, and you kissed mine. It was a moment I'll remember forever,

no matter the circumstances. The quiet moment we shared was that in which I was sure

of my true feelings and what they really were. I love you.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry I hadn't known that we were official after that day, but that dosen't matter so

much now, what matters is that we are together, it was something I had never dreamed would

happen to someone as small and insignificant as me, especially not with someone as great

as you. Thank you for taking your time with me. I know I've had walls up, but you always

gave me space and time if I needed it. I've never been treated so well before, with so much

care and love. There is a reason I push everyone away, but you are one of the only people

who I let through my walls, you pass with ease, finding the path leading straight to my heart.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry I've been kind of distant lately, it's not you I promise. I love you with all my

heart, but sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy of love, of being loved. I built you a home

in my heart, and you've resided there, but it seems the walls are building around you, leaving

you trapped and wanting to escape, and I'm sorry for not letting you. But I hope that you can

stay with me through this, like you have countless times before. Thank you for that by the way.

For dealing with me at my worst, which seems to be recently. Just know I love you.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry for being too busy with my own self doubt, to notice you drifting away from me, I had

assumed you were giving me my space like usual, but I couldn't help but notice the unaturally large

gap between us in the past few days. Or the uncomfortable silence hanging in the air between us, the

energy pulling us together all this time seems to have loosened it's grip. But please don't walk away

from me, from us. I don't know if I can handle having my heart broken anymore than it has in my life.

The reason there are walls around my heart, was so I don't have to feel pain, but they never saw you

coming. Not even close, they crumbled at your feet, so please be gentle.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry for assuming you knew what was going on in my head, for not voicing what was wrong.

I'm sorry for yelling back when there was a misunderstanding, for not going after you when

you walked out of the room, for telling myself to be mad, when I didn't feel the slightest

bit upset with you, because I loved you so much. You don't deserve someone who won't go

to find you when you walk out, above all, I'm sorry i let you slip through my fingers,

I gave you my heart and you broke it with pieces of myself, of all my flaws, and my

silence. I'm broken.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry. Im mostly saying that for myself because there are so many ways this could have gone,

So many things I could have said, and you might still care. You might not have given up on me,

the way you thought I did. I wish I could tell you now how wrong you were about me. You thought

I no longer loved you when really it was the opposite. You thought me staying behind when you

walked away was a sign that I no longer wanted you, when holding you in my arms was all I needed.

I wish I could take back our fight, I wish I hadn't let you go, I wish I had asked you to stay.

~Keith

Dear Lance,

I'm sorry.

Lance felt a stray tear drip down his face onto the piece of paper he clutched. It was one of many, all sitting in a neat pile in front of him. He stared

at the bland ceiling, he titled his head up and back until it hit the wall behind him painfully. He threw the papers all around him before breaking

down, sobbing into the still air all alone. He pulled his knees up against his chest, heaving as he breathed heavily between sobs, salty tears covering

his face and his shirt sleeve from wiping them away a countless amount of times, still unable to fix the gaping hole in his heart. He could no longer

look at the words on the papers, the sting they left was worse than he had thought possible. All the letters filled with true emotion, things that were

never spoken aloud. Lance was the most important person in Keith's life, and he had pushed him away, used him and broke him, because he

thought the other didn't love him anymore. He wished more than anything he could go back, to change things. "I hate you!" Had been the last thing

he had said to Keith and now it was too late to fix his horrible mistake. He had felt betrayed that day,

his own ears and mouth had decieved him, he had regretted what he said the moment it left his lips, but he knew he could never take it back, not

now. Lance lightly touched his lips with his shaking hand, no longer bothering to wipe the steadily flowing tears away. The same lips, that had

spoken to pretend to hate Keith, the same lips that passed laughter between two friends. The same lips that kissed his lover once upon a dream.

The same lips that had spoken their final words of parting with the other he had grown to love. Those lips that now, tasted the salt from his tears,

that quivered, unable to speak, that stay paralyzed by the truth, Keith was really gone, and he would never get him back.

Lance was the last one standing in front of the small stone. Even Shiro had already gone, but now Lance was left. He had been there for hours,

standing, letting the rain soak through his black suit. He had stared at the engraving, unable to process what had happened. He even went as far as

to run his hand over the smooth stone, feeling the ridges and curves that spelled out "Keith Kogane". He took a deep breath and forced it out, now

fishing a paper out of his pocket. He left it along with a single red rose, in front of the stone, amd walked away, the ink of his final words bleeding

out with the rainwater.

Dear Keith,

I'm sorry. For everything. For pretending to hate you, for laughing at you all that time.

For not seeing all you wanted was to be friends. For continuing to pursue you after, for

staying with you all that time but never asking why you were drifting away, for assuming

you no longer loved me, for losing myself. For yelling at you at you and walking away,

speaking the worst of words to part with. For smashing your heart without even knowing,

for letting you take the shot for me, even if I could do nothing about it, for letting

you leave me forever, even as you were in my arms. I'm sorry for loving you and leaving

you broken. I'm sorry for letting you go.

~Lance


End file.
